The timing of all of this is impeccable. We got engaged at the end of July and then I moved down here to the Berkshire's to pursue a new form of education and help out around BICS. Since I've been here, I have been had the great opportunity to be involved in a Bible Study. The first topic we covered was marriage. I found out that there are a lot of things I was never taught while growing that a man is responsible for in his household. This has brought out a fear, which I have expressed to Hannah several times. When we are finally married, I then become responsible for the life of another person. Once we start having children (scary enough to think about by itself) I then become responsible for the lives of several people. I don't know how many of the guys in my high school class even think about this.
The more I read the passages from the Bible that deal with becoming a godly man, the husband of one wife, and the leader of a household, the more I realize I am lacking. The good news is that my soul his hungry for the truth about these matters. I have been reading book after book, studying these passages of Scripture, and spending time with men and families that I believe to be godly and can offer me some wisdom and insight.
The good news is that our marriage will always be a work in progress. Due to both of our sinful nature's, we will have to extend grace to each other often and deal with situations, words, and actions that are painful to talk about. I realize the need for open communication. I am ready and committed to do whatever it takes to keep our relationship as open as possible between each other. I believe that God is extremely glorified when two people of different backgrounds can come together, learn how to love each other, and successful raise a family to know the Lord. There is much grace needed of course. I am grateful that Hannah is part of the Kingdom and that we can extend unearthly grace to each other because of our position in Christ.
I don't blame my parents for my lack of understanding in the relationships of marriage. They did the best they could with what they had. Plus, I am at a point where I am responsible for my own actions, thoughts, and life. I know my problem and it's my responsibility to fix it. So, with this realization of the huge responsibilities I have as a husband and father comes the excitement of entering a once in a lifetime relationship with my best friend (Hannah will start turning red here). It's once in a lifetime because it is a reflection of Christ's relationship to the church. He never divorced it...He loved it to the point of death! I look forward to the hills and valleys that our life together will have because of two reasons. 1) God's promise is to be with us everywhere we are. 2) We can live and act on the grace Christ has offered us through his death and resurrection. In these two things my heart is satisfied. Hannah and I can learn to love one another in grace because Christ has saved us from our own sinfulness! That often leaves me without words. I am looking forward to being married to my best friend.
Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Reading:
1st Samuel
Disciplines of a Godly Man- R. Kent Hughes
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