This past weekend I took a group of students to the SPAM Camp Winter Retreat in Alton Bay, NH. It was a great opportunity to spend some personal time with fewer students than I am used too. I really enjoyed getting to know all of them a little better. With little sleep and a little stress I learned a very big lesson over the weekend.
Even though I am a youth pastor, I am still a sinful human being.
There were a couple of moments where I caught myself saying things out of frustration and selfishness. Lack of sleep is no excuse. I allowed myself to come across strong and offensive. By the time all the kids had left the church and Hannah and I were ready to go to sleep at our house Monday night, I had a level of guiltiness weighing in on my heart. I was so tired and looking forward to sleep but I found little because I was feeling convicted. God was working hard on me. For that, I am grateful.
All that to say: I'm sorry. When I should have been an example, I showed my immaturity. If I have offended you, please forgive me.
Something John Tate said this weekend that has stuck in my mind: Spiritual Alchemy is impossible. To create something precious, rare, and extremely valuable out of nothing is impossible. To produce hope we must go through trouble (even the trouble we create), persevere, have proven character and then we will have hope (Romans 5:3-5).
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